I want to tell you a story...

I want to tell you a story of a refugee I met years ago when working in a hospital. She had given birth under emergency circumstances and remained gravely ill so was transferred to a medical ward while her baby was cared for in the Special Care Nursery.

As her medical condition improved she became a problem patient; trying to leave the ward, ignoring requests to return (she didn't speak English) and fighting like a wildcat when physically restrained. She was labelled as 'psychotic' and heavily medicated. Finally a translator was called in. She seemed almost unresponsive when he tried to speak with her and the outbursts continued.

I watched this unfold. I heard her screams as she was hauled back to her room. She was terrified. I took the time to read back through her medical notes. Her relative, with whom she was staying, had provided a detailed social history including torture, sexual assault and how she witnessed the murder of her family members. She had been granted residency quickly due to her pregnancy and was hoping her husband could join her in Australia soon.

If that had happened to me, as an Australian citizen I would have been provided with significant counselling, treatment for PTSD and an outpouring of support. She received time in a detention centre before being allowed to settle here without her husband. No counselling, no support, no psychological rehabilitation.

Is it any wonder she fought for her life when restrained by male security guards.

I organised a Pharmacist friend who spoke her language to come to the ward. With the relative safety of another female she opened up and explained she just wanted to see her baby. She thought we were taking her baby away from her. She was scared and confused. 

Within days we changed her treatment, organised frequent nursery visits and her condition improved. A few weeks later she went home with her baby.

I tell you this as I watch the aftermath of the Sydney siege tragedy. I do not want to speak or speculate about the accused other than to note his political asylum status.

Our refugee policies are murky. In some cases we don't screen appropriately, allowing dangerous and politically charged individuals to stay here. In other cases we lock desperate victims of horror in detention centres and do more damage. Rarely do we spend the time to rehabilitate them from their experiences. Rarely do they receive adequate care and treatment for all that has gone before reaching our shores.

I often wonder what would have happened to that woman if she had not had access to an educated female translator who was able to give her back her voice.

I cannot stop thinking about the man who changed the way we view our country. This doesn't happen in Australia, until it does. All those affected by yesterdays events will receive endless support and care, as they should. But this happens in other countries everyday. Every. Single. Day. And the victims have to just get on with their lives.

We have shown our goodness to those receiving unwarranted discrimination. #iwillridewithyou has drawn our people together amongst darkness and fear. We must remember this and speak up next time we see discrimination, let's make #iwillridewithyou our way of life from this point on. I am worried that we are the minority and that one of the outcomes of this tragedy will be further restrictions on immigration of refugees.

This post is not about answers. This is about not letting the actions of one person affect the fate of others. This is about changing the way we deal with asylum seekers to aid them in becoming valuable members of our society. This is about understanding the need for compassion and rehabilitation and providing it.

I have no sympathy for the actions of Man Haron Monis and I question the effectiveness of our justice system that he was out on bail when he shook our world. However as we learn more of his history it may provide answers on how he got to that place and how we can help avoid it happening again.

Please let's not tar others with the same brush.

I can see it, hear it, feel it, taste it - but I can never be on the inside of it with you. I cannot even be sure whether I really know what it is like. Is it 'like' my own? Or incomparable? Just as I can never know if what you see at any given moment is exactly the same as what I see. We look at a colour. We both call it red. But it is only because we have been taught to call it by that name. There is no guarantee - not ever - that we see it in the same way, that your red is my red.
André Brink, Before I forget

Taking Stock: November

I wrote my first Taking Stock post at the end of October and I think they may become a thing. October it seems was all about studying. So much has happened since that post was published. My Grandma passed away that week, I launched a new blog, I have had so many wonderful catch ups with old friends, met new ones, drank Champagne on a rooftop in Sydney (yes I keep mentioning that because it is a life highlight :) and had the most wonderful mini-holiday.

As we enter the craziness of the Christmas month I'm feeling unusually chilled. We aren't flying 'home' this year because we really do have a new home now in Melbourne. Of course we will miss our families but it is nice to be creating our own little traditions.

So, I am:

Making : Delicious Christmas treats like spiced nuts and striped cheesecakes.
Cooking : Slow-roasted legs of lamb. I know it is completely inappropriate for summer but I have only just discovered how remarkable and easy it is.
Drinking : Wine. So much beautiful wine. Not in large quantities but frequently and I like that.
Reading:Blogs, so many blogs and I just finished "The Husband's Secret" by Liane Moriarty, which I loved!
Wanting: More time with my love.
Looking: At the nail polish chipping off my fingernails.
Playing: Yikes, nothing. I am not playing at all and that is a problem.
Deciding: Where to go from here, what to do, how to manage the next step.
Wishing: For some ease.
Enjoying: All the pre-Christmas catchups with friends.

Waiting: For a few peaceful days off.
Liking: Lots of photos on Instagram, especially the ones prompted by #fmsphotoaday
Wondering: If there is an easier way to do all the things.
Loving: Taking photos everyday.
Pondering: Employment
Considering: My options
Watching: The days get longer
Hoping: For just a little more success.
Marvelling: At where life is taking me.
Needing: Balance
Smelling: Beautiful scented candles made by my neighbour (Shadow Moon Creations)
Wearing: Dresses as often as I can. I always dress far too practically so I'm trying to wear more colour and stuff that makes me feel pretty.
Following: Nobody ;)
Noticing: The little things

Knowing: It's time for a change
Thinking: About these prompts, they are so damn difficult :)
Feeling: Tired and energised at the same time.
Admiring: The DIY Christmas trees popping up on the blogosphere and wishing I had the time to make one.
Sorting: Out my finances
Buying: Treats here and there for Christmas day
Getting: There...
Bookmarking: Nothing. If I sat down and tried to read through everything I have bookmarked I would die first. Happy thoughts anonymous :)
Disliking: Driving an hour and a half every day.
Opening: Bags of Rodeo mix. I am freaking addicted to the stuff.
Giggling: Not frequently enough.

Feeling: Overwhelmed
Snacking: On Rodeo mix...
Coveting: A macro lens for my camera.
Wishing: 2015 is a happy one
Helping: Not frequently enough
Hearing: The rain on the roof

Do you like these kind of posts? I feel quite narcissistic writing them but I enjoy reading other people's so that makes me think it's no quite so bad. If you want to play along, pick three and respond in the comments  N x

Also don't forget my Christmas Giveaway is still open. You can enter via Seeking Victory or Champagne and Chips

3 days in Sydney

I have had another glorious week. A few months ago while desperately yearning for a holiday it occurred to me that a trip to visit one of my dear ones in Sydney might be an option. Then, a second dear one moved to Sydney for a three month window. The stars aligned and early Tuesday morning I jumped on a plane.

I have never been that into Sydney but I now know I was just doing it wrong. I have previously stayed in the city, which is uninspiring, whereas the inner suburbs are full of character and fun. I also think that I am looking at the world differently these days and appreciating all the little moments of wonderful more keenly. Plus Sydney is beautiful. I suspect it has Melbournised a little since my last trip four years ago- the coffee is better and cheaper and there has been a move towards more of the casual dining I enjoy.

You simply cannot argue with this scenery